Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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