The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
