Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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