I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is the high leading the old right now
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
