I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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