well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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