ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
