One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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