I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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