My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
