We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
