YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
