well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
