Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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