areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
