So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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