the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
