Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I intend to get homeless drunk
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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