New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
