mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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