Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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