I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
