So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
