I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
