i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize