You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
