Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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