I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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