i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I still have a little drunk in my system
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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