Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
