he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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