We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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