I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
