She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
