Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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