No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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