She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just forgot I was standing up.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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