bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
