I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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