Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
