Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
its liver damage thursday
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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