Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
