that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
