he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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