we're blogging at a bar
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i already hear my dad disowning me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
