porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
