I puked a lego.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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