You smell like stripper and shame
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize