I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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