I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.