I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just had sex on a roof
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize