Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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