I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think people are normalizing furries
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
