It's Friday. Sex?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
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We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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