i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
