ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
