just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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