you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
