she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
